What are you doing in my drink?

Today has been a very slow day. I woke up at around 12 O’clock. I still have not been feeling very well since my return to America…no I have not been to the doctor yet but am working on it. I called somewhere today only to find out they were for medicaid.I am poor but thanks to Obama, I still have health insurance under my parents. (Thanks pappa!)

One of the things on my to do list was to pick up my friend’s chester drawer. My friend Sharon and Kris made the drive to her former house to pick up the item. We then moved it into her room. Kris and Sharon then put her bed together and we placed the drawer in a good place. After all was said and done Jessica’s room is almost ready for her return. I said my thank you’s and farewells to Chris. After his departure Sharon invited me to a Mexican fiesta dinner with the main dish of enchiladas (yum yum). As she was explaining the invite I walked over to my tea I had made the night before. As I took a sip of it through the straw… I felt something go into my mouth. At first I thought it might be left over tea leaves since I had left the bag in there over night. My initial thought was to just swallow it, however my Africa training kicked in and I realized this was no tea in my mouth it was a creature and I could feel it moving around in there. I ran to the bathroom and spit it out. Sure enough it was a spider that was in my drink. It went straight up my straw and into my mouth. I was freaking out. People this never happened to me while I was in Africa. Everything we eat in Africa is cooked…not a live spider! On top of all that I hate spiders. On my list of things I hate sharks and spiders tie at number one. I was seriously having a freak attack. I was in my room jumping up and down screaming and exclaiming I can’t believe I almost ate that. As I was doing this, Sharon is in the bathroom saying lets kill it…let’s just kill it. The thing was trying to climb up the sink walls. Thank you Sharon for taking care of that little booger for me. He was completely white and a good size. His body was the size of a big pea. I am so thankful for my quick thinking otherwise I would have gotten a little protein and possibly a visit to the ER from a spider bite.

The picture below is an image I found off the internet that has similar traits to the one that was in my mouth. One word for you people…

Gross!

Memories…

Well I have officially been back in America now for a little over one month. I really don’t know how I feel about it.

I love the fact that I was able to spend the Holidays with my family. They are very dear and special people to me, whom I am so thankful for. As I think of the day I re-entered  into America, I was running…yes I said running…towards the exit to see my parents. It was so good to be in my mom’s arms and her telling me that she loved me. I missed this so much while I was away…someone holding me and saying “I love you.”

I had such a good time being back at home and being able to spend time with people at church. Thank you to those of you who took time to hear the stories and to encourage me. Thank you to those who prayed for me while I was away and are continuing to pray for me as I am back at school.

Now I am back in Louisville. I am excited to start life back here again. God has been so faithful in the fact that He has given me time to recoup some along with providing interviews and now job offers along the way. I live in a beautiful house with amazing roommates. These girls are such a blessing to me. They have already been ministering to me in the way in which they treat me and each other. It is truly amazing to be in a community in which Jesus unites us all as one in Himself.  This is truly a picture of the bride.

I have so enjoyed being back in Louisville and being able to spend time with my friends. They have also been a tremendous encouragement to me. A couple of the girls helped me with my struggles while I was in Africa and are continuing to help me work out sin, sinful habits, and bad theology I picked up while I was there. I am so thankful that God has providentially placed biblical counselors in my life to help me analyze and to overcome the  sin in my life. Sometimes I just need to be reminded of scripture and how to put sin off (thanks April! )

Yes, things here are good, but my heart… it still thinks of Africa so much. I see the people’s faces and remember their stories. I know of their lostness and see the hardness of their hearts and how God has given them over to their own foolishness.  I love and miss them all so very much. I still have much of their culture in my mind. It has not been hard adjusting back to America, but I do have to be a little bit self-conscious at times just to make sure I am not acting too African. I will give you a few examples: so I went running the other day with a friend and in the middle of us running I had to go to the bathroom…immediately I start looking for a tree but thankfully remembered there was a bathroom about 1/4 of the mile up the road (yes, we were running on a paved park loop while it was snowing). I have also had a hard time  not eating with my hands. I thought it would be an easy thing to stop but I can’t help it. I just eat so much better with my hands instead of  silver ware. Plus it is less clean up that way.

Continually thoughts of the people I left run through my mind. This includes nationals and my teammates who are still over there. I love them all so much! They work in such a hard environment yet they have so many moments to rejoice about as God continues to show himself to the people of Africa.

Please continue to Pray for me as I start classes and my 2 jobs. Pray that the stories of God revealing himself would penetrate the hearts of the people here in America. Pray for the people working over in Africa as hot season approaches, that they would persevere and exhort one another to finish the race strong with good attitudes and being content even in the low times. Pray that God would send more people. In Mathew 9:35-38 Jesus specifically tells his believers to pray to the LORD of the harvest to send out labors into his harvest.  Pray that God would send out his Holy Spirit among the African people and draw those to whom who he has called. May those who hear his voice follow their shepherd. Pray that the nationals who are believers would be strong in Jesus and stand-fast to the truth as persecution and famine arises.

Eye Shadow

My make-up routine in the mornings is pretty much a non-existent one. However, I do usually put on eye liner, mascara, along with a line of eye shadow right above the lid of my eye to add a little bit of color. I have had the same eye shadow for my lid for about 3 years now. I know some of you are thinking gross, but I have changed my application brush so it isn’t too bad. Although the shadow has not completely run out I am thinking that it is about time to replace the shadow. It has been very good shadow and even survived my trip to Africa and back (no i did not use it in the village that would be so vain). The place I last bought the shadow was Walgreens, but I have been unable to find it. Thankfully the internet is my friend and I found out a way that you can actually put the product in the Walgreens’ website and it will tell you where to locate the product. It is an amazing thing! In this process of trying to locate this brand I ran across a few disturbing items. One of the items is an eye shadow kit that has 88 colors! Really why do you need that many colors. I am pretty sure that there is a law somewhere outlawing some of these colors to be used on the eyes. I mean you would seriously look like a clown by wearing some of these colors. Maybe that is the majority of the population who purchase kits such as this. I am guessing you could also use a kit like this if you were in another type of business…you know what I mean people. Here is they type of kit that I am talking about:

Next you will preview the  error of using a kit such as this.

 

 

 

 

This pictures caption read “bases help colors pop”.  Girl someone needs to be honest with you and tell you that you do not need to be giving make-up advice about colors popping. Someone needs to teach you how to wear it first…meaning you know where to stop that shadow at. It is just too over the top…literally.

This next picture reaches out to all you older people.

 

 

 

Now if you are going to wear make-up get someone to help tell you when it is too much. I understand that your eyes are going out so you don’t realize how much shadow you are putting on so please seek help or just don’t put any on. You are old so people expect you to look like crap…It’s ok really.  Also, if you do decide to wear make-up pay attention to the colors that are in style at the moment. Your extreme blue is just not working any more.

It is so good to have friends that are honest with you and will not let you leave the house when there is something wrong with your outfit or in this case your eye-shadow. This girl may not be so lucky…her friends are really her frienenmies if they let her go out looking like this.

 

 

Look at the determination in her eyes as she applies that shadow. If she is going out for the position of Bozo the clown she has won the part.

Now in the next picture do not be fooled by the model. Yes she is indeed pretty, but seriously I thought we looked to the media for styling tips. Aren’t they the ones telling us what is “in” and how we should be wearing things. Well if this is true we would all look like an ice princess.

 

 

I told you she was a beauty, but really is this practical. Where would you wear this type of make-up?

 

 

Ok so this one is really disturbing. I thought that no matter what you do to Barbie she would always look beautiful. You can cut her hair of, pull her head out and then make her look like she has no neck, etc…no matter what though she still has it. At least I thought until I saw this shocking photo of her:

 

 

 

 

 

Please learn from Barbie’s mistake! Do not let friends purchase eye-shadow kits with 88 colors…Also Friends don’t let friends walk out of the house looking like clowns and prostitutes.

Musicals!

For some time now I have realized that I really like musicals, but could not quite put my finger on the reasonings of my liking. Growing up I would always sit and watch musicals on the weekend with my grandmother. My whole family would pile into the car and head up to our hunting property in Arkansas. I know what you’re thinking…that is so much fun for a little girl growing up…hunting. It really was alot of fun though because of the time I was able to spend with Nanna watching those musicals. One of my favorite musicals was singing in the rain. I loved anything with Jean Kelly in it or Judy Garland. Oh and we must not forget Bing Crosby, he was one of my favorites too. I would sit and watch these movies for hours. There was always something special about watching the plot line unfold on the TV while the cast sing songs that would coincide with the events taking place.

Of course because of my upbringing, I love modern day musicals. In fact, last night I went over to BAJA to watch phantom of the opera. It was fantastic just as I had remembered. I still cannot believe that the Phantom is cutie Jerald Butler. I just can’t get his voice out of my head…amazing is all I can say. Oh and the girl is marvelous. Usually I really don’t like female voices, but she does an amazing job. To think that she was only 17 when she filmed the movie.

All this talk about musicals has been running through my mind…why do I like them so much. It hit me, I love them because I make my life into a musical. It is most likely my love for them that has caused them to become a transferential habit in my life. Now I create my own musical world all around me. I love making up words to go along with beats that go along with whatever is going on in life or I just start signing a tune i think I know but not really. It really does make life interesting and fun though.

Dating

There are several things that I learned over the past month…one of those things is the fact that I have no clue when it comes to guys. Sometimes I don’t think guys realize how complicated they really are. You see my problem is the fact that I don’t know how to get rid of guys. Trust me it is not because I am this wonderful girl…it is because I have a sign on my forehead that reads “You, yes you weird guy ask me out please and then continue to stalk me after I say no.” I have talked to many different guys about the different situations I have been put in, however, each situation is truly unique. Some guys say that the guy is persistent and really interested. This scene often reminds of the scene from the latest Pride and Prejudice Movie.

The scene is set as Elizabeth Bennett, the second oldest child in her family, is asked by her cousin Mr. Collins for a private audience. At this point He lists out the reasons why he is pursuing her. She then tells him no. Instead of respecting her he ignores her request/answer and continues on and says, “I must conclude that you simply seek to increase my love by suspense, according to the usual practice of elegant ladies.” Elizabeth’s reply, “I am not the sort of female to torment a respectable man. Please understand me, I cannot accept you.”

This scene always make me laugh first off just because Mr. Collins so socially awkward. Another reason why it makes me laugh is because of the mere fact of being put in that situation. I think in part guys are just uncertain of how to pursue girls. You have not been taught/told how to  pursue. Guys you may be wondering well how am I to pursue a girl that I am interested in.

For starters, get to know woman first. Do not do this in a one-on-one situation, but create ways in which a group of you can go out. Trust me, you are never going to learn who the girl really is once you tell her you are interested. She will merely become the person she thinks you will be interested in. Another thing you can do is to do ministry beside her. See how you interact together and learn how she handles different situations. Thirdly, if you are interested in a woman make sure and go and talk to the older man that is discipling you. Make sure that your intentions are true,pure and not because you are lusting after her. After you have discussed this over with your teacher then go to the girl’s father and ask for his permission. If the girl’s father is not her spiritual leader then go and ask her elder (always ask for the dad’s permission though in the end it is still his daughter, the person whom God has made responsible for her). This way the Dad/elder will be able to search out your character and to see how the two of you interact. If he finds you an amiable suitor then he can ask his daughters thoughts on the matter. If she says no then it will not put her in conflict with you, but if she says yes then you can proceed with pursuing her.

For more information on this you can visit this link and listen to both sermons on biblical pursuit:

http://ofgreatprice.blogspot.com/2008/12/paul-washer-on-courtship-and-dating.html

Back in the Ville

Recently I have moved back to the ville area. The reason I moved back is to continue my theology learning. Going to Africa was a somewhat reminder of why I was working so hard…God really showed me though that my motives behind the working so hard were incorrect and I needed to be more Him focused and not self focused. You see in my first year in seminary I decided to focus on my situations and throw pity parties for myself. Some say I was burning the candle at both ends, but the true problem with my situation last semester was due to my selfishness. Instead of looking and seeing God’s grace and mercy towards me, I looked at the things that I wanted and didn’t have. I really struggled with God’s goodness and him being sufficient to meet my needs. Thankfully God’s Spirit has taught me truth about Him. It was this truth that kept me from falling completely away from God. God truly upheld me through this difficult time. Africa wasn’t any easier, but God taught me over the past year, through the “trials and difficulties” that he truly is good no matter what I think. God’s character is not dependent on my situation or how I feel about Him, but God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow…He is unchanging. If I am struggling with God’s character it is not because what he has done, but it is because of who He is and because of my sinful nature/desires. Since I have more understanding of this does it mean that things are going to be easier this time around at school? probably not, but I have been reminded to be thankful for the time that I have here to build a good foundation, to be thankful for the time I have to spend with people who are here because they love God, and to be thankful for those people who God has put in my life to love me.   Most important I have learned to be motivated ONLY because God is who he says He is.  If I truly love Him, then  will want to know Him more. Meaning that I will want to study the Bible more, for it is how God has chosen to reveal Truth to us.

Do you know the Muffin Man?

The other day I met with a few of my friends at the neighborhood starbucks. At my arrival I saw one of my friends walking with one of the workers out to the trash. Upon first glance I though she was merely helping her take out the trash, however, once my friend finally sat down she was telling us how you just never know what is going on in people’s lives. She then proceeded to tell the other girls and myself that she has a friend that blogs everyday about a different person that she encounters. On her blog she describes the person and may tell of a struggle or a story that the person told her. This is a way of accountability for her so that she does not over look people she comes in contact with but actually sees people. As my friend told me this I started realizing how easy it is to fall back into the American way of life. Let me explain: it just seems that in America we are too busy for one another. I look at my life since I have been back in the states and am overwhelmed by the business. It appears that I have not been able to really catch my breath as I am so busy trying to do the “right” things. I am trying to meet with people before I move back, I am trying to check up on my college girls, trying to spend time with family, striving to right letters, and trying to get out and talk to people who have said that they wanted to hear of the trip. I am looking into the abyss of business and seeing there literally will be no end to it unless I put the end to it. It is so funny as I look back and think that I have conquered something in my life…here I thought that I did not need help saying no, but I see that it is not so. However, if I do not start saying no to people my life will be over run by chaos and everyone will start to become people. I will stop seeing people for who they are and start seeing them as the blur of the chaos that is running around me.

And Here We Are…

As I sit and stare at the blank screen so many things come to my mind that I wish to write on. There are so many questions that I have…I am confident I already have the answers to many of the questions, but in that confidence I am also unsure of the things that I once knew; therefore, that which I think I possess knowledge of now I am unsure.  You see as more truth is revealed through total truth (the bible) and the Holy Spirit I start to see the things which I was so confident in become a blur.  I see how the things that I live my life by…well they are sometimes shady.  I look back and I see how many countless decisions have been made out of a feeling and not based off of any true reality. Thankfully God is changing my worldview. Instead of seeing things through my broken sense of reasoning, I see that God has spoken and has given us so much discernment in his word (absolute truth). He does not only use his word to penetrate my “spiritual” life whatever that means, but his word penetrates every area of my life. He is to affect every area of my life just as HIV affects every cell in the body. The difference between HIV and God though is that first off God does not hide himself within the cell or disguise himself in an old cell, but when God infects a person He is transforming that person into himself and He starts out by giving the person a new heart…not infecting the heart that will always reject Him.